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Comments:
i HAVE POSTED HERE BEFORE W QUESTIONS CONCERNINGTHIS ISSUE SO PLEASE BE PATIENT IF i AM OLD NEWS. WIFE OF 20 YEARS CHEATS WITH SAME GUY 20 TO 30 TIMES OVER A COUPLE OF MOS. sHE BREAKS IT OFF AND ADMITS IT TO ME. sHE IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO A DEFENSE MODE THAT I CAUSED ALL OF THIS. YEH, THEY SAY IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO BUT I REALLY WAS A GREAT HUSBAND. THIS IS EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT I RETAINED ALL OF OUR MARITAL FRIENS, MY KIDS BLAME HER AND EVERYONE DOWN TO OUR FAMILY DR. CANT BELIEVE I PUT UP WITH HER FOR SO LONG. SHE REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING THAT BENEFITTED ME PERSONALLY AROUND THE HOUSE, STATING THAT I WAS AN ADULT AND COULD GET A MAID IF I WANTED THOSE THINGS. IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT SHE DID NOT WORK AND LIVED A VERY HIGH LIFRSTYLE AFFORDED BY MY BUSINESS. SHE HAS MOVED OUT AND WE ARE FILED. MY QUESTIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS. 1. WHT DO I FEEL GUILTY? I COULD HAVE HER BACK JUST FOR ASKING. 2. IS IT POSSIBLE TO DO SO MUCH DAMAGE THAT IT IS IRREVERSABLE (SHE IS NOW NORMAL AGAIN) BUT MY FEELINGS ARE MUCH DIFFERENT. 3. WHY AM I STILL ASKING MYSELF IF DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT THING EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS? i FAILED TO MENTION MUCH OF THE PAIN SHE CAUSED INCLUDING EXTREME MENTAL CRUELTY AND PHYSICAL ABUSE.
All a person needs to do is change one or a few of those choices and nothing happens. Infidelity avoided. The folks who consistently state they'd 'never cheat' already have a firm grasp on which choices to make and do so consistently, each day, building on a pattern of choice-making where it becomes entrenched. Can a cheater do the same? IMO, yes they can. Want to? Different kettle of fish.